Rantings of a Sane Woman!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Daddy...

~ My Sweet Daddy ~

Well, my dad's gone to be with King Jesus...I know he's in a better place, but I tell ya, there's a void in my life.

My dad was thee most amazing man in the world--I don't just say that it's true! I love him with all that is in me...and yes, I want him back--to say any different would be a lie. My father loved me...he loved everything about me...my smile, my laugh, my faults--my everything! He NEVER judged me. He accepted me for who I am...his daughter...

God, I know you're taking the best of care of him. Lord, I prayed to you some four years ago asking--no pleading for you to restore him and let him live, you did...and now came the time for him to return to you...I know you know my pain and hurt and I trust that you in time will heal this unbearable torture. God, give my mother peace...give this family peace...grant us the knowledge and understanding that, "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28.

I trust you Lord and I love you...trust that I am not and was NEVER angry with you, that's not how you made me...you are all knowing and I trust that you know best--which you do.

Lord God, your Word says: Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. (Matt. 5:4) and I thank you--my family thanks you!! God bless you, Jesus!

Lord you have an amazing man in your guard...keep him close and never let him go...

To my father:

I love you...I love you...I miss you...I need you...I adore you...I love you...I love you...my daddy...oh daddy...

My father is in heaven with my Father in heaven...

~My Percious Parents ~

Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman...well, not so sane...just hurt...

Monday, January 23, 2006

"Hmmm"

I don't have too much too "rant" on today, but here's some...
Things that make you go "Hmmm"
Author unknown

1. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
3. Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
5. How do a fool and his money GET together?
6. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
14. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
15. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
16. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
17. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
18. What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
19. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
20. Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
21. How come there aren't B batteries?
22. If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
23. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
24. Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
25. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
26. How is it possible to have a civil war?
27. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
28. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
29. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
30. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
31. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
32. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
33. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
34. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
35. How do you throw away a garbage can?
36. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
37. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
38. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
39. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
40. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
41. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
42. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
43. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
44. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
45. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
46. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
47. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
48. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
49. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
50. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

material courtesy of Thomas Bätzler

Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman!

Friday, January 20, 2006

I Just Can't Do It!

For the life of me, I can't seem to read this stupid chapter! Pharmacology is for the birds!
Everytime I put aside time to read, this happens...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

I have to read this, I know it! But I just can't concentrate! This sh-- is boring as all get out!
I've done like a million other things like visit other blogs, like my fav
Dlisted, Truth, Beauty, Love and Elisa and, Convo's about Famous People ! I did some online bible lessons, awesome! It's free, check it out Bible Study Lessons.

You know
Dlisted is my fav blog, so much so that I can't finish posting my stupid stuff for visiting his site! "If you love 'im so much, why isn't he listed as a link on your blog? Huh, huh? What's up wit dat? Well, that's only because I'm too lazy to add 'im, that's it, nuttin' mo'. But, it's awesome, check him out!

Anywho, about the guy on my job. I'm getting tired of waiting on lover-boy...why won't he ask me out already!! As short as 10mins ago, he was at my desk (again) gabbin' on and on about (insert small talk here) waitin' for me to say something to keep the convo going...I did, but man! C'mon!! Ask me for my freakin' hand in marriage, already! Oops! Wishful thinkin' on my part...


But seriously, ask me out fo' I lose anymore of my mind!

Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

My Classes This Semester

Ok, last night was my first day in my acting 1 class and it was ok, I guess. I took the class to maintain 6 credits because EVERYTHING and I seriously mean everything was closed.

I was hoping for an easy "A", but I've got to conduct a monologue and two scenes, one alone and the other with a classmate. I don't have time to meet up with people to rehearse!! There's these students that are majoring in acting and their getting on my nerves with there, "I've worked with yadda-yadda-yadda!", "I'm working on this movie!", "I've got auditions with yadda-yadda-yadda!" Look, I don't care! Stop interrupting the class so we can hurry up and get the heck out! The teacher said most nights we'll get to leave early and I'm all over that!!

Don't get me wrong I like acting, in HS I co-wrote and play and was in drama three years the fourth year the school cut the funding. Prior to that I was always in drama classes in MS & ES--not to mention Glee Club, a sista love to sing, "Me, me, me, me,meeeeeee!" Looka there, I still got it! Ha! Seriously, I do sing and I still sing at church, weddings, funerals, etc. But do I have time for memorizing a whole monologue that has to be a minimum of 2mins and two scenes one alone and one with someone else!! I'll answer that, no! No, I don't. Shoot my pharmacology class is going to take so much of my time I don't know what to do!

Speaking of
, my teacher is BORING!!! I mean BOOOORINGGGGGGG!
I fell asleep like three times!! I never fall asleep in class--NEVER! Ironically that only when he's talking about pharmacology, other than that he has a great personality and great humor. His class is going to somethin' else! Oh well, I gotta take the course...just keep a sista in prayer!

Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Update!

Quick update to post below:

1. Mother's doing fine (Praise the Lord!)

She's still healing and praising God! Nurses come to the house to check on her and she still goes to the doctors. There's still a hole in her leg from the surgery, but it's healing beautifully (Praise the Lord!)

2. Truck fixed (Praise the Lord!)

Born-Again Virginity, still intact (Praise the Lord!) Nope it just didn't work with my ex. He dumped me because I wouldn't sleep with him. It hurt, but what can you do? I just didn't 'feel' right about it. Yes, I wanted to, but not with him. Although brothers body was banging!

3. Credit cards still deactivate!

However, I did get another credit card via my credit union (Praise the Lord!)

4. There's still no love connection--but a connection nevertheless! (Praise the Lord!)

The man on my job that I love has been flirting with me more--I wish he'd
just ask me out!! Well, I've decided I'm not going to give him another year to
decide if he wants to pursue me--hell, I ain't gettin' no younger...well...I
look it! Hehehe! But seriously folks, I need this man to step it up! People keep
telling me to ask him out, but that's not how I operate. A man has to initiate
contact. Oh well, that's the update.


Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Old Post--But, I Will Update It Soon!

Below was a post I forgot to post awhile back...guess what I still have to update it!

This week (9/21/05) has been hell! Pure HELL!

Ok, first my beloved mother is still in the hospital.
What happened?
She ran over her leg with my truck.
What?!?
Yeah, it was an accident. My trans needs replacing and I hadn't a clue my mother was doing this, but apparently she's been putting the truck in nutral and "pushing" it backwards (reverse doesn't work). Well, she was standing in the door of the truck thinking it was in nutral and it was in drive and all of a sudden the truck took off! Knocked her down and rolled over her thigh.
Is she alright?
Yes, thank God! She didn't break anything, but she can't seem to rid her body of infections. The doctors performed surgery on her to drang the huge, massive thigh and it isn't draning the way they would like. So, they are continplating sending her to a long term care facilitity. My mother's scared, I'm not. She thinks she might die. I don't. She says she has faith. It doesn't show. But it's easier said when it's not you laid up in a hospital bed, day in and day out. Keep my mother in prayer...please.

Next, I still haven't had sex with my ex and he's getting ancey. Oh well, he'll get over it...or me. I don't want that, but I'm just not ready...dang, this is so high school: "Mother, Billy keeps presurring me for sex. What should I do?"
"Keep your legs closed, young lady! Until Billy gives you a ring, he doesn't deserve anything!"
"Yes, ma'am."
Give me a break!

Next, both atm cards were deactivated!! I was on a spending sper. I was so broke, I literay couldn't pay attention--I mean, literay, I almost had an accident, lost in thought about my finances.

I need MONEY!!

What happened next...oh how could I forget! My truck was tolled from my job!! By my employer! What kind of shyt is that!! Security "claims" I was blocking someone in and they couldn't figure out who's vehicle it was. Yeah, right! I explained to them that when I first was hired I gave them my lience plate number...so...why didn't you run the plates.
"We tired, but nothing turned up."
Man, I had to pay--not much, but it was enough were I had to borrow the money--remember my atm cards were deactivated!

Now after paying the money, guess what? I had to wait 1hr 45mins to get out. Why? Someone lost the key and my truck was locked behind the gate. Man! I wanted to run that gate down! But, I work there, so ya know. I was frantically calling everyone and anyone I could think of to pick up my daughter. It was crazy! But the only thing that made me feel some relief was this gentlemen that I've had a crush on since Nov '04 was very helpful!

I mean, I've got it bad for this man!
What about your ex?
What about him? I don't see no rings on these fingers!
Anywho, this fine, sexy, intelligent, strong, black nubian brotha--did I mention sexy! He works with me and I simply love him! I asked him to contact sercuity and let them know I was still upstairs trying to get some money, since he was on his way down. He said sure and asked what happened I told him and he said they had no business towing my truck and that he wish it was something more he could do. Hump, I know a few things he could do and I'm one of them! (Down girl, down!) I love him simply love him. Ok, I'm not 'in love' with him, but I tell ya when I hear his voice the cella in my ears stand to attention--his voices literally stimulates me. I giggle like a school girl around him--uncontrollably and I hate it! One time he asked to use my phone and didn't wait for my answer and he was standing behind me and girl, I lost it! I couldn't hear, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe and people were at my desk asking questions I just jump up and said I'm sorry I can't hear you right now and I'm sorry. I was, but it was nothing I could do...I've got it back for him...really bad. Bad enough to let him end my five year sexual hiatious? Hell to da yeah!! Sike, I'm not that kind of girl, I don't just jump into bed (obviously) but in my mind, I have down him a million times infinaty. Anywho...he headed downstairs and told the security for me. It took me another 15mins to come down and guess who was waiting for me! That's right, him! He looked up and said, "Here she comes, now." Now, only if I could get him to say that in an interally different secne. Oh! I'm just bad--I can't help it! I get off the escallator and walk over to the secrity desk they ask for my ID # and HE starts rattling it off--I was amazed I just cut him off and said the rest! He walked me out saying he wish there was more he could do and that they were wrong for taking my car. I LOVE HIM!

Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Dang It, It's Time For A Change!

Ok, now that my brother Kylyn, Sr. is home things should start to get better! HOWEVER! His children's mother the (clearing my throat) is still acting like a true one!

She still won't let us (mother and I) see the kids I'm going to have to push mother to asses her grandparents rights.

This chic and that's me being respectful, this chic has through the years caused nothing but pure hell for not just us, but her side of the family as well. None of them want anything to do with her. Mother always said she had to bite her tongue when dealing with her because my brother was away and she had to step into his shoes until he gets out--that would be the both of us mentally, physically and most surely finacially. I can understand and respect that, afterall those are my nieces and nephews and I love and miss them so much it aches. I pretend it doesn't bother me, but it's taring me apart. My daughter misses her cousins too; at one time she asked every single day to see them...broke my heart, just broke it.

Anywho about this heifer! She's done some dirty things through the years. Like what you may be asking, here's just a few things...

1. Told my brother, mother and I that my youngest nephew was born a twin, but it died and that the hospital wouldn't let her see or give the baby a burial.

Fact: Mother contacted the hospital and demanded that Gew see her baby and informed them it was unlawful for them to prohibit her from seeing and buring her child. The nurse kept saying she couldn't give out any information, but if she were us she'd ask Gew again about the birth of a second child. Mother asked what do you mean? The nurse said there was a dilvery, but there was only one child dilvered.

2. In 1995 my grandmother died and mother was in tormoil--not that she was crying because she wasn't, mother wouldn't allow us to see that, but she was physically drained. At the burial site--at the actual burial site, Gew called herself consoling mother by saying, "Don't cry, when you cry you make me think of my mother!" and they embraced. So as mother usually does, she puts others before herself and she pulled herself together as best she could for the sake of Gew.

Fact: Years later Grandma Mary (Gew's grandmother (whom Gew called mother because she raised her) on her father's side) told mother that Gew's mother wasn't dead and that she was living with Aids and in an insitution for the mentally disabled. My brother said there were many a night when he sat up rocking her in his arms while she cried like a baby over her supposedly dead mother. Is that sick or what! Needless to say mother was destrout because she couldn't properly mourn for her lose--Gew had the ordasicity to say this while they were literaly putting grandmother in the ground! What gaul!

3. Kylyn (my eldest brother) severally burned his arm requiring serious medical attention fore which he got and one night both she and he spent the night at mother's and she (Gew) wanted to leave and Ky (short for Kylyn, daaa!) was in deep sleep due to his med's. She kept trying to wake him, but again he was knocked-out. So this (clearing my throat again) takes her fingernail and jabs in into his at that time open wound! My brother yelled out bloody murder! She follows up by saying she's ready to leave and just looked at her like she was crazy!

4. According to this sick (there I go again, clearing my throat) one day Ky made her so angry she thought of a ways to get back at him. So she makes him a plate of spagetti (you can see where I going with this, right) and puts bleach in it and feeds it to him! BLEACH! She put bleach in his food! My brother thought he was going to die he was in such pain. We didn't find out about this until a year or two later when she felt both she and mother were so close she could confide this to her. Mother hung up the phone and quickly called her back asking her, "Do you not realize I'm Kylyn's mother!!" She kept yelling it into the phone, "I'm Kylyn's mother!, I'm Kylyn's mother!" Gew at that time was calling mother 'momma' and I guess she felt she was closer to her than to her actual son...not!

5. Gew has been leaving the children alone in houses and/or apartments since the oldest child now elven was six--that we know about, she could have started when the oldest was younger, I wouldn't put it passed her. Mother & I both offered to babysit numerous times--and she gets money from the state for childcare, but she wants it for herself so that's why she leaves the children alone and tell us that her sister, aunt or cousin is watching them. There's four children, present ages are 11, 9, 7 and 5. At that time, Gew worked midnights and would cook and leave the food in/on the stove and tell the oldest to feed everyone when theygot hungry. She also had the oldest administering breathing meds to the then 3mth old. My oldest neice at the age of 6 put this breathing machine together and inserted the med's into it and held the baby in one arm while holding the tube in the baby's mouth to help with her breathing. Mind you this process for me took 2omins, can you imagine this for a 6 year old?? The oldest could do all this, get food off the stove, take care of three other babies and try to make them all feel safe in a big empty house--but she wasn't allowed to change the baby's diaper! What kind of mess is that!! So the baby stayed in the same diaper until she got home and she wonders why the baby's to this day, vagina looks like it does.

One day we called and the oldest answered the phone and told she and the kids were alone, we flew like a bat stratight outta hell to get those kids! Needless to say when we got there mother called Gew from Gew's home, and gave her an ear full!

6. When the kids are in school Gew NEVER picked them up on time. The school called mother daily to have one of us pick up the children. Sometimes the teachers brought the children to mother. The school also complained that the youngest would not only urinate her pants, but also defecate. Gew just let her do it--all the time. I know you think I'm lying, but I promise you this is not something I've herd, but witnessed--so has my girlfriends. We could all be at home and you look over at the youngest and you could tell she's defecating on herself. Now mind you Gew clamed the baby was diagonosed with server constipation, but come on! Just like she knows she has to use the bathroom right at that moment, she knows how to go to the bathroom--oh, at this time she was like 3 and 4--guess what y'all, she still does it! Oh, and she's not the only one all the kids urinate in the bed--yes, even the 11year old with the exception of the oldest boy. All this is just ridiculous--not the children, their mother in raising them! Usually children who wet the bed is an indication that there's a problem somewhere...by the way my baby stopped weting the bed at two, so the problem isn't with me or mother, one need but look one other place...the children's mother!

7. All the kids lives she's told them there were ugly and for them not to look at her. Mind-you, they all look like her! Is she ugly? No. Is the kids ugly of course not--not a one! She's just crazy! Why would you plant a seed of low-self esteem in your own children?? I just don't get her, she's just crazy.

8. She finally got caught for writing bad checks and served 3mths in jail. Using other peoples names, etc., she's on probation now. She steals from anyone and condones her children in stealing. I have to check there's bags everytime the get ready to leave, beause they have stolen something of my daughter's or mines--wait! I have to correct that statement! The only one that doesn't steal is the oldest boy--now HE once looked just like Ky, but then Gew's genes kicked in, oh well, what can ya do?

9. When angry Gew will beat the oldest child, we believe because he's the darkest in color, Gew and the other children are of fair skin. When I say "beat" I literally mean beat. She takes her fists to him. He has such a loving heart too! He loves with his whole heart, something he got from his father. When my brother was a child he'd bring home homeless people asking mother to feed them (danergous, I know--Jesus is a keeper!) even when we didn't have enough food to feed the homeless person, Kylyn would tell mother to give them his portion--he was 9 and 10 yrs old doing this! Amazing heart! He'd bring home stray cats for me, because I loved cats. Once I remeber both he and I got bee's caught in our hair and we were screaming like crazy people and mother kept running back and forth between the two of us not knowing which to help first. Kylyn looked and mother and instantly regained his composure and said to mother, "Momma, help Tamika first." AMAZING!!! Simply amzing! All the while, I was still screaming like a mad woman--well, mad girl.

Anywho back to ture crazy woman, she treats my oldest nephew so 'differently' from the others--and he's the one child that truly loves her! Not saying the other don't, but when she was in jail he was the only one that constantly prayed and asked about his mother, that's not my only proof of his undying love for her, trust me it isn't. Her mistreatment of him had rubbed-off onto the others and they started mistreating him until she finally believed what we'd been telling her and when he said he didn't want to live anymore 'cause his bothers and sisters don't love him. In her defense she changed immediately, I don't know how he's been treated lately, I can only pray...

10. All the time my brother was in jail, she had this live in boyfriend named--yes, I'm goning to name him! Jason! The prick's name is Jason! She got caught with him before and told us he was nobody, yeah right. Look, she wasn't and isn't married to my brother and six years is a long time. So whatever you do, just don't let us see it. And in her defense she tried to keep it that way, but stuff changes (you know that's not what I wanted to say, dontcha!) Jason was supposed to be watching the kids while she worked cause he didn't. And apparently he wasn't doing a great job because she claimed he complained that the children would be down the street at 10 o'clock at night and when he'd tell them to come home and they wouldn't siting he wasn't there father.

He beats the oldest boy and according to the other children he spanks the youngest girl. He talk to them like they amount to nothing. We were even told that Jason (I wish I knew his last name, dang it) pulled my youngest nephew's (are you ready for this) pulled his penis while he was in the tube! Yes, the children told us this! They said the youngest boy was in such pain and could barely walk--this is the kind of enviornment Gew keeps her children in! But we're the bad ones! Yeah right!

The oldest girl hated him, I always wondered why...I have my own theories if you know what I mean. He never hit her, but he didn't like her around other little boys or girls and kept telling her mother she needed to watch her. Jason would fight Gew in front of the children and she'd tell the children she's going to put him out, but she never did. He's gone now, and now she wants us to belive she put him out, but we found out he left her.

That's just ten things, I actually have a list of things she's done over the years, but it's just too, too much crap, but you get the picture about this hussey!

Gew's just crazy, we now know it's because her mother's insane coupled with the fact that Gew as born a crack baby--that's not an insult, it's the truth, she'd tell you herself--hey another thing! Every since the oldest girl started her menstraual, Gew's been calling her hot in the pants, fast, snicky, etc. Now when we told her for I don't know how many years she was dressing the oldest girl too grown she wouldn't listen. She put her on too tight jeans, tops, coats, etc. Not only are they too tight, but to small in the sense that the jeans would be floods, the arms of the shirsts wouldn't come down properly, coats fit like a prostitute, etc. Gew thinks she too good for the second hand shop. Look, when you don't have an education, no job and four children, you do what you have to do! She only wants her children in designer clothes and that's fine if you can afford it. But when you can't let it go. She take hand me downs from her family members as long as they were designer, they would be so dang tight and small on the girls and twenty sizes too big on the boys. If she bought things new she'd by too tight for the girls and too big for the boys. This included dress suits, now you know a suit is supposed to fight properly, nope! Not for my nephews and if you bought them something better taylored than the crap she has she wouldn't let them ware it--ever!

If I falled to mention it the oldest girl is extremely tall for her age; she's as tall or taller than me (not that I'm a giant) but she's only 11yrs. old. She's beginng to develop and now her mother wants her to dress like a little girl--which I'm all for! But when she was younger she put on her what she wish she could wear. And always wanted to bring to your attention her daughter's body! What's up with that! Saying things like look at her breast, she thinks she's grown! Or She's got all that a--! Stupid stuff like that. And the catch to it, she didn't have any of it! She's just now developing! She'd write my brother or talk to him on the phone telling him how shaply she's fitting some jeans or how pravocative she looked in some picture, stupid, stupid stuff like that! My brother would tell her he doesn't want to hear that kind of stuff about his girls, but she'd keep telling him.

I still haven't seen my brother, last night I went over the house and asked for him she said he wasn't there and walked away. She started yelling, "What! What!" into the phone, come to find out it was my brother on the phone with her. I waited outside for awhile he never showed so I left. Gew calls the house and leaves a vme saying, "Nothings changed since Kylyn's got out of jail. I don't want you at my house. You called the police on me, ain't nothing changed." Hahahaha! That's funny, she's upset with me for calling the police on her. Ha! I sure did and I'd do it again. She was at work and left the kids alone again! and I called and was told by the children that they couldn't talk to us and the oldest girl kept hanging up on me and I was concerned because they stopped answering the phone and I called the police to check on them. Damn right I called the police, and I'll call them again; but Kylyn, Sr.'s home and things are going to get in order!

Whew! That was a ear full! Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman!