Oh, Well...

I've been single for over five years--by choice mind you--and that's in ever aspect of the word "single"...I don't sleep around, momma didn't raise no hoe! :0) But when I finally met someone I liked, he's 12 years my junior. Then when I got over that "hump", I find out he's moving two hours away. Now some people may think that's nothing, but I'm not traveling two hours to be with someone...I'm just not. That's how I once felt...each day I see him, I'm beginning to think, "Two hours is not that far." But since I've told him I don't believe in long distance relationships--which is the same time he was saying he "tried" the long distance relationship in the past and--and that's when I cut him off and said I don't believe in them...I may have screwed myself with that one...he might have said,

"I've tired long distance relationships in the
past and it worked out wonderfully!

"or he might have said,

"I've tired long distance
relationships in the past and they don't work for
me!"

Which is want I inferred before allowing him to finish. But as I said, since telling him I don't believe in long distance relationships, he's been somewhat "standoffish". But then he'll forget he's supposed to be standoffish and begin to flirt...heavily--Oh wait! That was me! I was talking about me... He never stopped flirting...but it was I who began acting as if he didn't exist, he questioned me on it...we talked...it was a nice talk...he's so mature for his age...I'm not just saying that because I like him, but his mannerisms reflect that of a much older, much more mature man...everyone says the same...and to add he doesn't look his age, not implying he looks "old", because he doesn't, just older...[exhaling] I really like him... Now that I have these feelings for him again, I think it's too late...even if it weren't, I would only see him once a week anyway, but I'm a faithful woman (I've been told a little too faithful...if there's such a thing) and I know the old saying, "What you don't know won't hurt you." (speaking of his being 2 hrs out), but my thing is, what I "think" will... I've dropped hints--as recent as today, that I wouldn't mind giving it a try, but he appears disinterested...that or perhaps he's a realist (which is my usual stance.) Perhaps he feels he too may be wondering about me and what I was doing--which would be nothing, but he wouldn't know that--In fact, I don't think I've dated a man that truly felt I was faithful. People--No, men! Men seem to feel if a woman is attractive...extremely attractive (that's me tooting my own horn) that she can't possibly be with just one person....and that isn't true...I'm the epitome of the word "faithful". I don't cheat, period. I just don't...[exhaling] I really like him... ...well I feel...well I really don't know how I feel--exposed! That's how I feel, exposed...

Anywho, thanks for listening--well, reading the rantings of a sane woman!